How Our Stressors Frustrate Other People

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Why can’t they just do it my way?”
Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of that unspoken question; feeling misunderstood, micromanaged, or pressured by a teammate who seems wired completely differently.

We’ve all experienced it.
What starts as simple miscommunication quickly turns into emotional friction.
And that friction, when left unchecked, drains energy, trust, and productivity from our teams.

But what if the root cause isn’t a personality clash, poor communication, or even differing skill levels?
What if it’s something more fundamental...something baked into how we’re wired to work?

This is where behavioral science meets The Working Genius model and it changes everything.

The Behavioral Science Behind Frustration

Behavioral science shows us that frustration arises when expectations, needs, and environments don’t align with how our brains naturally process and perform work.

When we’re forced to operate outside of our natural “genius zone,” our nervous system interprets it as stress not unlike the biological response we’d have to physical threat or exhaustion. Over time, this chronic cognitive dissonance leads to burnout, resentment, and reactive behavior.

The problem?
Our stress doesn’t exist in isolation.

According to research in social neuroscience, emotions are contagious.
When one person in a team is frustrated or stressed, others pick up on it subconsciously through mirror neurons, the same system that helps us experience empathy and connection.

So, when your stress leaks out, in tone, impatience, or withdrawal, it doesn’t just affect you. It ripples through your environment.

In short:
Our stressors frustrate other people.
And without awareness, frustration becomes a feedback loop that erodes trust and collaboration.

Enter The Working Genius

In 2020, Patrick Lencioni, best known for The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, introduced a powerful new framework called The 6 Types of Working Genius.

Unlike traditional personality tools that describe who you are, the Working Genius model reveals how you work specifically, which stages of work bring you joy, energy, and fulfillment, and which drain and frustrate you.

Every successful project or initiative moves through six stages of work, and each one corresponds to a type of “genius.”

1. Wonder – The ability to ask big questions and think about possibilities.

2. Invention – The ability to create original ideas and solutions.

3. Discernment – The ability to intuitively evaluate and assess ideas.

4. Galvanizing – The ability to rally, inspire, and activate others toward action.

5. Enablement – The ability to support and assist others to move projects forward.

6. Tenacity – The ability to push things through to completion and results.

Each person has:

• Two Working Geniuses — areas that bring joy, energy, and flow.

• Two Working Competencies — areas where we can perform well, but not sustainably.

• Two Working Frustrations — areas that consistently cause stress and strain.

This means everyone brings value but not in the same way or at the same stage of the process.

When Genius Meets Frustration

Here’s the paradox:
The very things that energize us often irritate others, and vice versa.

Let’s look at a few examples.

• The Genius of Wonder constantly asks, “What if?” or “Why are we doing it this way?”
  To others, that might sound like unnecessary questioning. But Wonder-driven people need exploration to thrive.

• The Genius of Invention wants to create new solutions.
  To the Tenacity-driven colleague who just wants to get things done, this can feel like chaos or distraction.

• The Genius of Discernment relies on intuition to sense what will work or not.
  To an Invention type, this can feel like nitpicking or skepticism.

• The Genius of Galvanizing is the spark plug that gets people moving.
  But to someone with Wonder or Discernment, constant enthusiasm can feel like premature action.

• The Genius of Enablement naturally steps in to help others.
  Yet, to an independent Invention type, that help may feel like interference.

• The Genius of Tenacity is all about closure — checking boxes, hitting goals, ensuring follow-through.
  But to a Wonder type, that focus on completion can feel rigid or overly tactical.

Every genius has a light and a shadow.
When unrecognized, those shadows become sources of mutual frustration.
When understood, they become doorways to empathy, trust, and team flow.

The Neuroscience of Stress and Emotional Contagion

Behavioral scientists have long studied emotional contagion: the phenomenon where our emotional states are mirrored by those around us.

A 2014 Yale study found that even brief exposure to someone expressing stress can elevate cortisol levels in others. In team environments, this means one frustrated individual can subconsciously prime an entire group for tension.

When we operate from our Working Frustrations, this happens often:

• We’re short-tempered because we’re operating outside our genius.

• Others misinterpret our stress as lack of trust or criticism.

• They react defensively, compounding the frustration cycle.

Without awareness, the team spirals into a loop of unproductive emotion; what psychologists call reciprocal stress amplification.

The antidote?
Self-awareness and psychological safety.

When we understand why we’re frustrated and when others understand it too we create space for grace.
We stop making behavior personal and start seeing it as informational.

From Frustration to Empathy (A Shift in Team Culture)

Working Genius gives teams a shared language to talk about how they work not just what they do.

When I facilitate Working Genius workshops, leaders often have a lightbulb moment:

“Wait… you’re not being difficult...you’re just in your frustration zone.”

That moment of awareness transforms relationships.
Instead of labeling teammates as “lazy,” “controlling,” or “overly idealistic,” people begin to appreciate the genius behind each behavior.

Here’s what behavioral alignment looks like in action:

When every person knows where they fit, they stop competing for the same space and start complementing each other’s strengths.

The Leadership Connection (Behavioral Science in Practice)

From a leadership perspective, understanding your team’s Working Geniuses is an act of emotional intelligence.

Daniel Goleman defines EQ as “the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and those of others.”
Working Genius does exactly that but in the context of work.

Great leaders ask:

• Where does each person find energy and fulfillment?

• Where are they operating in frustration?

• How can I align their genius with our organizational goals?

This creates psychological safety, which Harvard researcher Amy Edmondson found to be the #1 predictor of team performance in her studies at Google (Project Aristotle).

When people feel safe to express frustration without fear of judgment, they can turn stress into insight and misalignment into collaboration.

Real-World Application (Turning Insight into Action)

Let’s bring this to life.

Case Example: A Marketing Team Misaligned

A team I recently coached was struggling with project delays and miscommunication.
The creative lead (Invention + Wonder) kept revisiting ideas, while the project manager (Tenacity + Enablement) wanted to finalize and execute.
Each saw the other as “difficult.”

After mapping their Working Geniuses, they realized the creative lead was operating in joy (ideating) while the project manager was operating in frustration trying to close loops.
Once they intentionally brought in a teammate with Galvanizing + Discernment to bridge between ideation and execution, everything shifted.

Deadlines stabilized. Collaboration improved. Frustration turned into flow.

This is the behavioral power of awareness in action.

Reflection and Integration for Growth-Minded Leaders

Self-awareness is the first step toward behavioral mastery.
Understanding your genius is understanding your design.

Reflect on these questions:

1. Which two stages of work give you energy, joy, and flow?

2. Which stages consistently drain or frustrate you?

3. How might your frustration behaviors affect your teammates?

4. What would change if everyone on your team knew this about each other?

The more honest you are with these answers, the faster your growth.

Action Steps for Growth-Minded Leaders

Reach out about taking a Working Genius Assessment and explore how your results align with your current role. Then, let's bring your team together for a Working Genius Workshop to discover your collective geniuses and frustrations.

When people understand where they thrive, and where they struggle, something powerful happens:

• Work becomes meaningful.

• Relationships become smoother.

• Productivity feels natural instead of forced.

Because alignment is more than efficiency. It’s energy management.
It’s behavioral science applied to leadership and culture.

In the end, our frustrations are not flaws to fix; they’re feedback.
They reveal where we’re misaligned with our natural genius.

When you understand your Working Genius, you gain permission to stop striving in the wrong direction and start designing your work and teams for flow.

And as you do, something remarkable happens:
You become less frustrated, more fulfilled, and easier to work with.

Because the truth is...when we understand ourselves, we stop making other people pay the price for our stress.
And that’s not just good leadership.
That’s behavioral mastery.